Since we spoke about How to Network , I want to share how NOT to network. If 1 or more of the first 3 topics sound like you, keep reading. I will also give you a few tips to help you get back into the networking game with the right mindset.
This guide will help you become a lead magnet in any room and help avoid broken connections.
- Wait to talk Business…!
- Don’t be Overly Confident
- Don’t Flirt or look for a romantic relationship
- Give Space for Others to Speak
- It’s Okay to Make Mistakes
Wait to talk Business…!
If you are networking and your main goal is to find a job, don’t let that be the first thing coming out of your mouth. That is a mistake; my ego and desperation blinded me from seeing how networking truly works. Getting a job is fantastic when you meet someone for the first time at a networking event. But there won’t be a paid gig every time you network with someone for the first time.
A part of networking is about building a relationship that, in time, might help you get a paid project. Something you should aim for instead is making friends or connections with people who you feel comfortable with. The person you meet for the first time might differ from the vibe you want to work with. Slowly getting to know the people around you will save you time and energy from working with the wrong people.
Flirting
You shouldn’t go to an event that is not focused on finding a mate, to find a romantic relationship.
Just because “you feel” like you are good at flirting doesn’t make it true. You can cause discomfort and make yourself look like a creep. So please don’t do it. You shouldn’t go to music networking events to find a mate anyway; it’s inappropriate and bothersome. If that is your goal, you should attend events focused on finding a partner.
If someone is making you uncomfortable
If someone is flirting with you and it is making you uncomfortable, get away from the person and search for a representative of the networking event; let the representative know who is making you feel uncomfortable. It’s essential you let someone know, especially someone who is a part of the networking event. The Networking event can ban the harasser from their current or future events, preventing them from harassing anyone else.
Overly Confident
Be careful with being overly confident; this can easily be a turn-off and create tension when talking to others. If you are eager to show someone who you are and what you have done with your music career, slap it on your website on your About page and call it a day. You don’t need to flaunt your whole musical abilities everywhere you go. Letting people get to know you slowly creates a space where you and the other person have a relaxed and pressure-free environment. This also gives the other person and yourself time to grow and get to know each other.
Storytime:
I knew someone who became a piano prodigy at a very young age. Later in his musical career, he switched from a piano performer to a film composer. One day, he was introduced to a very well-known film composer at a networking event. During their conversation, the piano performer repeatedly mentioned how he is a “piano prodigy” and continued to speak about all the talented things he has done as a pianist. The film composer was annoyed by his word choice during their discussion and made it clear to the piano performer that he, the film composer, didn’t care if the piano performer was a prodigy and should grow up. You can imagine how the network connection broke from there.
Listen, reader, you should be proud and grateful for all the fantastic and talented things you have done with your music, regardless of age. And forgive me for sounding heartless; no one will care what you did then; They only care about who you are now.
Give Space for Others to Speak
Be humble and blessed about all the hard work you did and the opportunities you had. Practice this by giving room for others to speak about their accomplishments. Also, ask questions about who they are, their interests, and their goals. Suppose you leave a conversation and find out you don’t know much about whom you were talking to. In that case, you need to cut the chatter and learn to listen and ask more questions.
Be engaged when hearing others’ stories, desires, and goals. This makes people feel good talking to you and thus would want to hang out more. In time, you will have many opportunities to show people what you can do. Be patient with your journey to make solid connections and long-lasting relationships.
It’s okay to make Mistakes
Now, if you have experienced something like the piano performer and have “missed” your chance at a great connection, I say this; there will be another chance for you. Maybe not with the same person anytime soon, but as the saying goes. Plenty of fish in the sea! You will have many opportunities ahead of you, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not catching that chance. Take note of it, learn from it, change what you feel needs changin’, and get back to networkin’. Create a journal or write down what went well and what didn’t go so well during your event. Keep track of your networking skills and decide what has worked and what you need to improve.
Do you have any other tips on how NOT to network? Comment down below and drop some knowledge!